I'm a quiet type of person. I usually shut my mouth and just observe people: how they act, how they speak and how they communicate with one another. Sometimes I just run out of the right words to say during discussions. Sometimes I just laugh when merriment is in the air without even contributing to jokes being cracked. My mother said I'm already a gentle and quiet type of person since childhood.
Being quiet is sometimes associated with being shy. Well I'm not really shy, I'm just not loud (hehe does that make sense?) I was never bold about my thoughts and feelings (they just shout loudly through my pen and paper). I'm never bold. Expressing myself out in the open is not an easy thing to me. No wonder I still carry this trait even through worship.
I used to lead our church's worship. Some people thought I was so lame. They said im so reserved. I know im not a crowd favorite. Though I know that in worship services, it's not about us but about God. Yet it's inevitable for people to compare. Then I began blaming myself. Why can't I learn to shout or to rock my heart out? Why can't I carry the crowd well? Why can't I do it better even I'm giving all I had? I think unconciously I began to envy the "cooler" ones who are more ideal for this task. And the pulpit began to become a terrifying spot in my eyes back then.
Many people says that worship is such and such. But is there a sole way of worship we should follow? Should we need to shout and be loud and be too emotional to fully say we are intimate? Or should we need to rationalize to act wise?
Truly there's a lot of mysteries in life -- including worship. So good we can come to God as we are and offer Him our love and praises. God created us differently: there are Sanguines, Cholerics, Phlegmatics, Melancholics. He created us differently with different expressions of worship. He knows it. He knows there are people who need solitary moments to be able to come to Him. He knows there are people who doesn't mind going wild in praise and worship. He designed our diversity. Yet there must have something similar when it comes to worship. Worship must be sealed with love. And worship must be physically expressed. I learned that we must be bold in offering praises to God because it's a declaration of our faith.
Now everytime we face our Lord in worship, let's aim to please Him- Him only. Remember that we can never ever please everyone. So even it's been said many times I will say it again: Focus your eyes and efforts on Jesus and your act sincere act of worship will never be in vain :-)
Love Lots,
Yhoy
