Here it is... First Day
at my First Job! So exciting it may seem!
Yes it actually is..
After tremendous dry and deserted days of finding and waiting for my God-Given
job finally eto na yun!! Thoughts of hardships are fading as my heart is
filled with gratefulness for the wonderful opportunity. I remember myself four
years ago, a first year college student looking towards group of buildings
while waiting for the train heading to school. I'm always telling myself,
"I'll be there someday". And now I'll be heading to the tall
buildings and a "taller" tomorrow!!
It's monday. The night
before is our church's anniversary. So bangag bangag pa talaga ko actually. Ang
masama pa nyan, sobrang hirap sumakay papunta sa destination na pupuntahan ko.
At isa pang stressful dun ay di ko alam kung saan ako pupunta o sino ang
lalapitan ko. I feel so betrayed.. haha.. Kidding aside, I really had a hard
time that morning. I was trying to call my contact person but she's not
answering. It's really confusing 'cause the company I will be working for has
two buildings. At the burst of my emotions, I'm thinking about going home and
taking some rest instead. But, I will have an impression of being too proud if
I do that. I decided to push through.. Shocks! Di ko na talaga alam ang
gagawin. Kung sino-sino na ang nakausap ko, gutom na ko, haha... In short I end up being
late on my appointment with the HR. Haaaayyy... sa HR pala ko dapat dumeretso.
Ayun I feel like the HR personnel was so disappointed with me 'cause I'm
late and I'm asking a lot of questions. A thing that strucked me is when she
said that, "Maam, okay lang magtanong kung kaylangang kaylangan. Pero 'wag
mo naman ipakita palagi na litong lito ka kasi titignan din nila yung learning
curve mo. Kahit contractual ka lang maraming possibilities (job opportunities)
dito". Until now, I always remember that.
So in short, I was
introduced to the department I'm assigned to. The department is related to
marketing research. I feel like I entered a new dimension when I entered the
office doors. It was like the one in the movies-- you opened the door and great
light struck you and you almost can't see at all. But when the light subsided,
your eyes adjusted, new creatures and nature and everything welcomed you in!!
oh how lovely it may seem!! And it was just the beginning.
I am introduced to my team
mates. Hi's and Hello's here and there. I was toured to the floor and I was
introduced to my beloved office cubicle, office chair and computer. For a fresh
grad it is so exciting to know you already have a work station. You can really
feel it that you're a working person already :-) Yet aside from the excitement
I feel really lost. Totally blanko ang isip ko. I don't know what to do, how to
act, what to say. I don't know, I feel so shocked about everything. I'm so
shocked seeing high profile people, busy people, sossy girls and boys. Knowing
there's only a few people in the office the same age as mine, I feel a bit
awkward. The culture and the atmosphere is turning out to be intimidating.
Still I don't know how to act among these new faces. I don't know if I should
shake hands, or say this or that. I don't know what are the ethics and norms.
Haaaayyyy.... a fresh grad in awe.
Lunch time came. I guess
this is one of the hardest part. At first I don't know if they'll include me in
their lunch time. I feel like a little girl, a cat in the midst of lions. And
lunch time made everything overwhelming. Being a fresh grad I have a very
limited resources as compared to young professionals. Oh M! What if they are
taking lunch at expensive restaurants while I can only afford fast food? I
don't know I don't know! I don't know what foods to pick, I don't know how to
eat, I don't know where to go, I actually prefer not to eat at all. But ayun,
nakakain din.
The pantry is another
world. It is where conversations and lighter moods exist.. Haha.. I just don't
know how to behave, again. I noticed some of the norms in the office. Their
pattern of conversations, their culture is very evidenced in the way they speak
and the topics they talk about. I thought, "Naku ano ba tong pinasok
ko?". Really this is not a joke, it is corporate world. These people are
really professional. It is a humbling experience. It feels like being David
among the Goliaths. A confident and boastful fresh grad realized how small she
is when faced with the giants.
It's devastating. I feel
like crying. Maybe it's an initial reaction when a person seem to face a great
unknown. Knowing I have painful experiences prior to this employment, my
self-esteem is really down to zero. Then you'll be facing people bigger than
yourself. The feeling is overwhelming. Maybe because I'm stepping out of my
comfort zone and I have no choice of going back to where I'm from. Though the
feeling was devastating, It's really humbling. The first day at work of this
fresh grad is a humbling experience. I've realized, "Anlakas naman pala ng
loob ko magyabang yabangan o magtalino-talinuhan dati. Mas muka lang pala
talaga kong tanga by acting that way." Many are the achievers yet they
walk humbly. But the ones who have less sometimes act as if they know
everything. Ang kulet no. I felt so empty-handed at the moment. I spent longer
minutes in the rest room that day. I don't want to go out or I'd rather go
home. I want to see my baby cousin as I look in the vast sky line from the glass
window of the building. I'm sooo shocked. "Why am I here Lord? What can I
do for You while being here..." I sighed..
5 a.m., it's time to go
home.
Having the feeling of restlessness I walked slowly, away from the
building.... only to find out that I fall short of money. My goodness! How can
I go home now! "Why Lord?".. My tears started to fell. Kahit uwian na
devastated parin ako. I texted my boyfriend to pick me up, he didn't know what
had happened. To make it shorter, I spent more minutes crying like a baby. Wala
lang nakakashock lang. It was to the level na magang maga ang mata ko pagpasok
kinabukasan. Haaaaayyy... So the bottom line is God brings us to certain
levels in life for us to know great lessons to fuel us in His great plans. For
me, I really leaned to become humble though it's really hard. I know
everybody experiences it also. Kahit saan ka man makarating strive to be
humble. Never underestimate other people. Never look down in other people.
Also, do not be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. But don't think
that you are the center of the universe and everything will turn out to be the
way you conceive it. Still, the reality is that fresh graduates are
"bottom dwellers". but it's okay--- love your work yet dream high.
Strive to do your best in your craft--- whether it be photocopying, filing or
whatever, love it and learn. But bear in mind you should dream for greater
things to come. Be patient to wait or your breakthrough. Especially enjoy every
learning experience. Enjoy being young! Yes it's hard to become a fresh
graduate, but this is the foundation. Whatever you do today will reflect who
you are tomorrow!
Have a nice day!
Love lots!
