Thursday, February 28, 2013

A Fresh Grad's Adventures II -- Creepy First Day at Work


Here it is... First Day at my First Job! So exciting it may seem!




Yes it actually is.. After tremendous dry and deserted days of finding and waiting for my God-Given job finally eto na yun!!  Thoughts of hardships are fading as my heart is filled with gratefulness for the wonderful opportunity. I remember myself four years ago, a first year college student looking towards group of buildings while waiting for the train heading to school. I'm always telling myself, "I'll be there someday". And now I'll be heading to the tall buildings and a "taller" tomorrow!!

It's monday. The night before is our church's anniversary. So bangag bangag pa talaga ko actually. Ang masama pa nyan, sobrang hirap sumakay papunta sa destination na pupuntahan ko. At isa pang stressful   dun ay di ko alam kung saan ako pupunta o sino ang lalapitan ko. I feel so betrayed.. haha.. Kidding aside, I really had a hard time that morning. I was trying to call my contact person but she's not answering. It's really confusing 'cause the company I will be working for has two buildings. At the burst of my emotions, I'm thinking about going home and taking some rest instead. But, I will have an impression of being too proud if I do that. I decided to push through.. Shocks! Di ko na talaga alam ang gagawin. Kung sino-sino na ang nakausap ko, gutom na ko, haha... In short I end up being late on my appointment with the HR. Haaaayyy... sa HR pala ko dapat dumeretso.  Ayun I feel like the HR personnel was so disappointed with me 'cause I'm late and I'm asking a lot of questions. A thing that strucked me is when she said that, "Maam, okay lang magtanong kung kaylangang kaylangan. Pero 'wag mo naman ipakita palagi na litong lito ka kasi titignan din nila yung learning curve mo. Kahit contractual ka lang maraming possibilities (job opportunities) dito". Until now, I always remember that.

So in short, I was introduced to the department I'm assigned to. The department is related to marketing research. I feel like I entered a new dimension when I entered the office doors. It was like the one in the movies-- you opened the door and great light struck you and you almost can't see at all. But when the light subsided, your eyes adjusted, new creatures and nature and everything welcomed you in!! oh how lovely it may seem!! And it was just the beginning.

I am introduced to my team mates. Hi's and Hello's here and there. I was toured to the floor and I was introduced to my beloved office cubicle, office chair and computer. For a fresh grad it is so exciting to know you already have a work station. You can really feel it that you're a working person already :-) Yet aside from the excitement I feel really lost. Totally blanko ang isip ko. I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say. I don't know, I feel so shocked about everything. I'm so shocked seeing high profile people, busy people, sossy girls and boys. Knowing there's only a few people in the office the same age as mine, I feel a bit awkward. The culture and the atmosphere is turning out to be intimidating. Still I don't know how to act among these new faces. I don't know if I should shake hands, or say this or that. I don't know what are the ethics and norms. Haaaayyyy....   a fresh grad in awe.

Lunch time came. I guess this is one of the hardest part. At first I don't know if they'll include me in their lunch time. I feel like a little girl, a cat in the midst of lions. And lunch time made everything overwhelming. Being a fresh grad I have a very limited resources as compared to young professionals. Oh M! What if they are taking lunch at expensive restaurants while I can only afford fast food? I don't know I don't know! I don't know what foods to pick, I don't know how to eat, I don't know where to go, I actually prefer not to eat at all. But ayun, nakakain din.

The pantry is another world. It is where conversations and lighter moods exist.. Haha.. I just don't know how to behave, again. I noticed some of the norms in the office. Their pattern of conversations, their culture is very evidenced in the way they speak and the topics they talk about. I thought, "Naku ano ba tong pinasok ko?". Really this is not a joke, it is corporate world. These people are really professional. It is a humbling experience. It feels like being David among the Goliaths. A confident and boastful fresh grad realized how small she is when faced with the giants.

It's devastating. I feel like crying. Maybe it's an initial reaction when a person seem to face a great unknown. Knowing I have painful experiences prior to this employment, my self-esteem is really down to zero. Then you'll be facing people bigger than yourself. The feeling is overwhelming. Maybe because I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I have no choice of going back to where I'm from. Though the feeling was devastating, It's really humbling. The first day at work of this fresh grad is a humbling experience. I've realized, "Anlakas naman pala ng loob ko magyabang yabangan o magtalino-talinuhan dati. Mas muka lang pala talaga kong tanga by acting that way." Many are the achievers yet they walk humbly. But the ones who have less sometimes act as if they know everything. Ang kulet no. I felt so empty-handed at the moment. I spent longer minutes in the rest room that day. I don't want to go out or I'd rather go home. I want to see my baby cousin as I look in the vast sky line from the glass window of the building. I'm sooo shocked. "Why am I here Lord? What can I do for You while being here..."  I sighed..

5 a.m., it's time to go home.

Having the feeling of restlessness I walked slowly, away from the building.... only to find out that I fall short of money. My goodness! How can I go home now! "Why Lord?".. My tears started to fell. Kahit uwian na devastated parin ako. I texted my boyfriend to pick me up, he didn't know what had happened. To make it shorter, I spent more minutes crying like a baby. Wala lang nakakashock lang. It was to the level na magang maga ang mata ko pagpasok kinabukasan. Haaaaayyy...  So the bottom line is God brings us to certain levels in life for us to know great lessons to fuel us in His great plans. For me, I really leaned to become humble though it's really  hard. I know everybody experiences it also. Kahit saan ka man makarating strive to be humble. Never underestimate other people. Never look down in other people. Also, do not be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. But don't think that you are the center of the universe and everything will turn out to be the way you conceive it. Still, the reality is that fresh graduates are "bottom dwellers". but it's okay--- love your work yet dream high. Strive to do your best in your craft--- whether it be photocopying, filing or whatever, love it and learn. But bear in mind you should dream for greater things to come. Be patient to wait or your breakthrough. Especially enjoy every learning experience. Enjoy being young! Yes it's hard to become a fresh graduate, but this is the foundation. Whatever you do today will reflect who you are tomorrow! 

Have a nice day!



Love lots!





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