Talking About Dreams

I used to be a day-dreamer. When I was I child, I used to be alone  not because I'm anti-social but because I'm inventing my own world---full of colorful dreams and stories. I used to have paper dolls, they reenact the things I wanted to happen in the future. I used to have notebooks full of short stories and drawings which also shows the things and places I wanted to go to.

I'm still a day dreamer. I always think about my dreams. Everyday I wake up, I'm constantly reminded by the things I should do, the things I wanted to do. I'm always thinking, "how will I get there?",  "How can I achieve it?". While sometimes I'm thinking, "Why am I still here?" 

Sometimes you want something, but God give you another thing. Sometimes, you got the opposite of what you think of. Minsan parang nag-jojoke si Lord noh! :) Sometimes, you'll realize that as you grow up, the dreams you thought of are unrealistic. Some dreams are really hard to reach, some are frustrating.

But despite what the world dictates us, we believe in God, right? Even the world tells you you're a loser, we believe that as children of the Father we are victors and overcomers! Even the world tells you that dreams will never come true, we believe that nothing is impossible to Him. Trials and attempts to destroy the dream are God's ways to make us strive more. Have faith, work hard, dream high --- now we're off to the promise land!

Don't give up hopeful souls!

 

Off to the Promise Land!!!

Love lots,

Wala kang Katulad by JOHIA

Hello! sharing with you the song I'm listening to as of the moment..

The Lord is speaking to me now through this song. It is good to know that our Lord is incomparable, awesome and really wonderful. This Almighty God who created the whole universe in six days, is the same God who created me, the same God who died for me, the same God who knows my name, the same God who cares, the same God who intervenes in my daily life. Who would ever compare to His majesty? 

I love this song-- It is entitled "Wala kang katulad" by JOHIA. I first heard it on our church's worship service one Sunday morning. I love how the songwriter expresses his feelings as if he is really really  delighted in the presence of the One He really loves like a child delights for the touch of his parent. It is as if the only thing that would ever satisfy his thirst and longing is the precious touch of Jesus. May we feel the same thing.

Enjoy the song and God's presence today!

Love lots!

"Desiderata"

Hello!!  Sharing with you one of my favorite poems of all time  :)  Be inspired today J

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

A Fresh Grad's Adventures II -- Creepy First Day at Work

Here it is... First Day at my First Job! So exciting it may seem!

Yes it actually is.. After tremendous dry and deserted days of finding and waiting for my God-Given job finally eto na yun!!  Thoughts of hardships are fading as my heart is filled with gratefulness for the wonderful opportunity. I remember myself four years ago, a first year college student looking towards group of buildings while waiting for the train heading to school. I'm always telling myself, "I'll be there someday". And now I'll be heading to the tall buildings and a "taller" tomorrow!!

It's monday. The night before is our church's anniversary. So bangag bangag pa talaga ko actually. Ang masama pa nyan, sobrang hirap sumakay papunta sa destination na pupuntahan ko. At isa pang stressful   dun ay di ko alam kung saan ako pupunta o sino ang lalapitan ko. I feel so betrayed.. haha.. Kidding aside, I really had a hard time that morning. I was trying to call my contact person but she's not answering. It's really confusing 'cause the company I will be working for has two buildings. At the burst of my emotions, I'm thinking about going home and taking some rest instead. But, I will have an impression of being too proud if I do that. I decided to push through.. Shocks! Di ko na talaga alam ang gagawin. Kung sino-sino na ang nakausap ko, gutom na ko, haha... In short I end up being late on my appointment with the HR. Haaaayyy... sa HR pala ko dapat dumeretso.  Ayun I feel like the HR personnel was so disappointed with me 'cause I'm late and I'm asking a lot of questions. A thing that strucked me is when she said that, "Maam, okay lang magtanong kung kaylangang kaylangan. Pero 'wag mo naman ipakita palagi na litong lito ka kasi titignan din nila yung learning curve mo. Kahit contractual ka lang maraming possibilities (job opportunities) dito". Until now, I always remember that.

So in short, I was introduced to the department I'm assigned to. The department is related to marketing research. I feel like I entered a new dimension when I entered the office doors. It was like the one in the movies-- you opened the door and great light struck you and you almost can't see at all. But when the light subsided, your eyes adjusted, new creatures and nature and everything welcomed you in!! oh how lovely it may seem!! And it was just the beginning.

I am introduced to my team mates. Hi's and Hello's here and there. I was toured to the floor and I was introduced to my beloved office cubicle, office chair and computer. For a fresh grad it is so exciting to know you already have a work station. You can really feel it that you're a working person already :-) Yet aside from the excitement I feel really lost. Totally blanko ang isip ko. I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say. I don't know, I feel so shocked about everything. I'm so shocked seeing high profile people, busy people, sossy girls and boys. Knowing there's only a few people in the office the same age as mine, I feel a bit awkward. The culture and the atmosphere is turning out to be intimidating. Still I don't know how to act among these new faces. I don't know if I should shake hands, or say this or that. I don't know what are the ethics and norms. Haaaayyyy....   a fresh grad in awe.

Lunch time came. I guess this is one of the hardest part. At first I don't know if they'll include me in their lunch time. I feel like a little girl, a cat in the midst of lions. And lunch time made everything overwhelming. Being a fresh grad I have a very limited resources as compared to young professionals. Oh M! What if they are taking lunch at expensive restaurants while I can only afford fast food? I don't know I don't know! I don't know what foods to pick, I don't know how to eat, I don't know where to go, I actually prefer not to eat at all. But ayun, nakakain din.

The pantry is another world. It is where conversations and lighter moods exist.. Haha.. I just don't know how to behave, again. I noticed some of the norms in the office. Their pattern of conversations, their culture is very evidenced in the way they speak and the topics they talk about. I thought, "Naku ano ba tong pinasok ko?". Really this is not a joke, it is corporate world. These people are really professional. It is a humbling experience. It feels like being David among the Goliaths. A confident and boastful fresh grad realized how small she is when faced with the giants.

It's devastating. I feel like crying. Maybe it's an initial reaction when a person seem to face a great unknown. Knowing I have painful experiences prior to this employment, my self-esteem is really down to zero. Then you'll be facing people bigger than yourself. The feeling is overwhelming. Maybe because I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I have no choice of going back to where I'm from. Though the feeling was devastating, It's really humbling. The first day at work of this fresh grad is a humbling experience. I've realized, "Anlakas naman pala ng loob ko magyabang yabangan o magtalino-talinuhan dati. Mas muka lang pala talaga kong tanga by acting that way." Many are the achievers yet they walk humbly. But the ones who have less sometimes act as if they know everything. Ang kulet no. I felt so empty-handed at the moment. I spent longer minutes in the rest room that day. I don't want to go out or I'd rather go home. I want to see my baby cousin as I look in the vast sky line from the glass window of the building. I'm sooo shocked. "Why am I here Lord? What can I do for You while being here..."  I sighed..

5 a.m., it's time to go home.

Having the feeling of restlessness I walked slowly, away from the building.... only to find out that I fall short of money. My goodness! How can I go home now! "Why Lord?".. My tears started to fell. Kahit uwian na devastated parin ako. I texted my boyfriend to pick me up, he didn't know what had happened. To make it shorter, I spent more minutes crying like a baby. Wala lang nakakashock lang. It was to the level na magang maga ang mata ko pagpasok kinabukasan. Haaaaayyy...  So the bottom line is God brings us to certain levels in life for us to know great lessons to fuel us in His great plans. For me, I really leaned to become humble though it's really  hard. I know everybody experiences it also. Kahit saan ka man makarating strive to be humble. Never underestimate other people. Never look down in other people. Also, do not be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. But don't think that you are the center of the universe and everything will turn out to be the way you conceive it. Still, the reality is that fresh graduates are "bottom dwellers". but it's okay--- love your work yet dream high. Strive to do your best in your craft--- whether it be photocopying, filing or whatever, love it and learn. But bear in mind you should dream for greater things to come. Be patient to wait or your breakthrough. Especially enjoy every learning experience. Enjoy being young! Yes it's hard to become a fresh graduate, but this is the foundation. Whatever you do today will reflect who you are tomorrow! 

Have a nice day!

Love lots!

A Fresh Grad's Adventures

The first challenge a fresh graduate encounters is the challenge to find a good job.

I had a hard time getting a perfect job that will fit me perfectly. I thought I'm competitive enough and I'll find a good position that easy. But I was wrong. My goodness! There's a lot of folks out there like me and we're competing for few available jobs. I thought just because I graduated a Bachelor's Degree, I don't mess with my college education, I manage to communicate well with other people, that's enough. But really, whooohh... It's one frustrating (a bit) season of my life.

Another thing that aggravated the situation is the pressure from peers. I'm really wondering, "Oh Lord what's wrong with me? Why do I find it hard to pass exams and interviews while they (my college friends) flourished that easy?  :( " Seriously I am thinking "What's wrong with me?". And the Lord taught me to be patient.

Then there it goes, few months passed by, I remained jobless. I felt jealous about my friends who posted pictures and updates on Facebook about their officemates and workplaces. I feel like I don't want to open my FB account anymore. Haha. But seriously, I was dreading to have a job. I hear about murmurs of my friends who have a job that they find it hard to wake up early, or they find it hard to get along with their bosses, or they're sick and tired of their work. I just realize, "'Buti nga kayo may trabaho. E 'di magresign nalang kayo. If I'll have a chance I'll be willing to do what you do. And the Lord taught me to see the importance of work. 

Few more weeks. I was still jobless. All I do is to work with household chores and take care of my 3-year old cousin. I also help my mom regarding our Sari-Sari store. Sometimes, I get tired of it. I was thinking, "Eto nalang ba gagawin ko sa buhay? Ang mag-alaga ng  bata?" I really got bored. Each day seem like the day before, they're all the same. I find it hard to find stuffs to do. In fact I have nothing to do. But I see with my own eyes how important are the small things in life. A child's laughter, my mom's sadness, the birds' song, the radiance of morning sunshine, the mystery of life. Rushing people may neglect to see them, but I have been given the opportunity to realize it. Every second count. Every small thing makes bigger moments and it makes sense. I learned to be happy in whatever situation I'm into. God opened my eyes and make me see the importance of my family and the one's  who love me. They will always be there for you eventhough the whole world stepped out. And the Lord taught me to be contented.

The economy's getting harsh. I'm pushing and praying hard. But I was still jobless. I saw how my family strive. But it's really hard, yet I really need a job now. I am praying,"Lord why? I am Your child. I know You'll never leave me nor forsaken me. But why this long Lord? I really wanted to help my family now." It's really a hard season. Sometimes I'm annoyed with the situation, but I told you already, i learned contentment. But it's really hard. I just prayed,"Lord You knew already what we need and when we need it. Ikaw na ang bahala". I made a decision that whatever happens, I'll help to support the family. I dropped all my vanities and selfishness. And the Lord taught me to be selfless.

I think it was six months already. I waited patiently while doing something. I kept myself busy with church stuffs and with my family. I fill my heart with God's Word and positivity each day. I keep on reminding myself that He has greater plans for me. He has prepared something big just for me. He just want me to learn valuable lessons that I can use for my "God-given Job". Maybe He just want to excite me so He delayed the surprise for some time. I now exercise my faith. I prayed for my God-given job but this time, with a time line. "Lord bigyan mo po ko ng trabaho bago magchurch anniversary, please.. Show me how great You are." Now the Lord taught me to exercise my faith.

November 18, 2012 was the day of our church anniversary. November 19 was my first day at my first work. Finally :)

Love Lots,

Random Morning Thoughts

Here at the office. It's 8:03 in the morning.

source:  http://www.123rf.com

Have you ever felt being in a situation where it is like you're hanging on a cliff and all you can do is to trust the one who'll come by to help you?

Really, there are uncertainties in life.

There are times you'll wake up, start your day, face the daily challenges, though you don't have assured guts and strength or resources for the next few hours. All you have is the faith that God will make everything okay.

People always rush. It's okay though. But sometimes we neglect the serenity of life. Have you noticed how awesome are the skies today? Have you ever paused to listen to the birds' little surprise to you through a song? Have you ever seen the mystery of how humans grow each day? Life is so amazing. Sometimes it is harsh and rough. Sometimes it is meaningful. Sometimes it is vain. Sometimes it is tiresome. Sometimes it is exhilarating. And we know that the Lord created this life.

Sometimes people are confusing. Why do we boast? Where in fact we have nothing to boast. We should treat other people fairly. But the world is too harsh. Funny it may seem, but we pay attention to the ones who are dressed well and neglect those who don't. It's really funny.

At the end of it all, our life boils down to one point "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Good Morning :-)

Love lots,

My Boyfriend is a Pastor :)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

As of now I'm watching him from afar. I am sitting still here. He's practicing with the Praise and Worship Team for tomorrow's Sunday Service. And even though I keep my eyes on the computer screen, I still hear his serene voice as he sings. I just can't help noticing his tender voice :) And when I look again I can't help thanking God that my boyfriend is now already a pastor :)

I first met him almost in the same situation (almost, hehe). I was leading the worship then. He, together with his mom, dad and a family friend entered the church sanctuary and sat on the back. Being in the stage, I can see almost everybody in the congregation. I had a thought at that moment, "They look familiar? hmmm"..  But actually I notice them because they are unfamiliar faces. Haha anggulo lang. But I can sense that there's something with these people. I knew already that they are christians because of the way they behave during the service. I notice "him", "hmmm... nakagreen sya, chubby, may salamin, at parang may something sakanya na di ko madistinguish.." Haha.. in a short glance I had several conclusions already. So that is how I first met "him".

How does it feel to be "his" girlfriend?

Before that let's define who "he" is.

He is a busy person ever since I met him. He is an engineer by profession and working in a reputable company. Despite his busy corporate functions, he take his ministry in the church seriously. After he moved from another church to our local church, his promotions took place shortly. He became one of our worship leaders. He is also the head of the Singles' Ministry. He became one of the church's leaders. Aside from that, he has several extra curricular activities. And oh! He is a loving son to his family and an upright kuya/brother to his siblings. And I forgot to tell you, he is few years older than me. He used to be one of the kuyas to me. Kaya naman, bachelor na bachelor na sya, neneng nene parin ako that time.

Now let's define "me" before we became lovers.

I was a college student. Inexperienced about everything related to the corporate world. Busy though as one of the youth leaders in the church. Totally youthful and playful. Who would ever thought we'll be together?

So back to the question: How does it feel to be "his" girlfriend?

To be his girlfriend, one must understand that he is "really" busy :)  He always do something. He always have a meeting. He always speak with and greet almost everyone he met along the way (although an exaggeration). So to be his girlfriend, one should also be accommodating to people who interrupts our time together. To be his girlfriend you must adjust to his level of thinking (kahit halfway lang). Most especially in the kind of relationship we have (what they call "May-December Love Affair"). To be his girlfriend you must wait until he finishes his tasks, or you should help him. And to be his girlfriend you must be ready to receive advices even in a small aspect of daily living (e.g.  how to drink a coffee, haha! peace!) If you're he's girlfriend, you must know that he is easily sick because of exhaustion :(  And when he has spare time he keep on fidgeting on his ipod's "soccer game app".

But despite his busy schedule he always make time. He always remind me how well I am loved. When I am down he always do his best to take may frown away. He always do his best to see that curve in my face. In times of hardships and trials, he stand still like a strong soldier. Yet in times of weakness he always cling to the Lord for strength. In times of confusion he never fail to be submissive to our leaders. He always remind me to focus on Jesus. He is truly a Christ-centered servant of God :) I just want to share one specific season of our lives when I had anxiety caused by hypothyroidism. I was really misunderstood that time. Even I myself had a hard time understanding my own emotions. I'm always paranoid, scared, I feel like going crazy. But he stood by my side. He never left even in my weakest point. He never left even if I felt like I'm really messed up. And I know, together with my family and friends, God used him to strengthen and uplift me. I learned that love is not just about the "kilig" factor or the happy times together. It's about selflessness, compassion, and love itself.

But does that mean we have a perfect relationship?

Definitely not. We started "not well". (And that's another story) Sometimes we commit mistakes. Yes, we had fights. Sadly, there are times we hurt other. But it is the Lord who corrects us. And we are totally dependent to the Lord  on how we will run our relationship. It is the Lord who planted the "seed" of love in our hearts and it is He who nurtures and grows it. Ultimately we desire to glorify Him through our relationship. We believe that the Holy Spirit will guide us along the way. Also we are grateful to our parents and leaders for their support and guidance. And also to our friends who shares the joy with us :)

"He" is now facing another chapter of "his" life..

Last November 20, 2012, he took the Exhorter's Exam of our denomination together with two of my friends. And Praise God! They passed. We can say that they are now licensed preachers/pastors already. I can say that now, "My Boyfriend is a Pastor". Of course, there are added responsibilities to "his" busy schedule. I should expect more meetings and more people will come into "his" life. But I am so happy for "him". I know God will use "him" even more. And I would be very glad to join him in "his" ministry. I would gladly support "him". I would be glad to be accountable to him. I would be glad to support and pray for "him". I would be very honored to be by "his" side serving the Lord...

 "Iyh val, Mr. Val, Tso Val, Rod, Ptr. Val: ngayong birthday mo, sana mapasaya ka namin na mga nagmamahal sayo. Kadalasan, ikaw ang nagreremind ng birthday ng iba, o ng send-off party ng iba. Kadalasan, ikaw ang nag-aadvice sa iba. Kadalasan, ikaw ang nagpapalakas sa iba. Pero di alam ng lahat na nalulungkot ka rin pala, nafufrustrate ka din pala, nagagalit ka rin pala. Sana kahit sa simpleng paraan mapangiti ka rin namin :-) Sana malaman mo na hinahangaan ka namin pagdating sa pananampalataya mo. Sa totoo nga lang nakakatuwa ang paraan ng pakikisama mo sa iba't ibang klase ng tao. Minsan naman ang weird mo kasi ang kulit kulit mo. Minsan nakakabother kasi trabaho ka ng trabaho. Pero nakakatuwa kasi pinipilit mong balansehen ang lahat ng responsibilidad mo.. Sana malaman mo na mahal ka namin at na-aappreciate namin ang presensya at contributions mo :)  Happy Happy Birthday! More Birthdays to come! Yohoo! Sana magamit ka pang lalo ng Lord sa trabaho o sa ministry o sa buhay ng ibang tao man. Sana'y manatili kang humble, passionate at sold-out kay Kristo! May God bless all the desires of your heart :) "

Happy Birthday sa'yo na mahilig magtaste-test ng mga pagkain :)

 

One of the first pictures together

Our first anniversary  :))

Love,